Amber's Gift

I don't even know where to start about Amber. Many of you know about her, she is an angel that gave Maya's life proof of existence, she gave us proof that she was here and is part of our life. Maya is and will always be our fourth child. Amber is a photographer she has three children and her third was born very early and they didn't know if he would make it so she did what came naturally. She photographed him. I.m happy to say Lane is a happy healthy boy but what Amber took from that was wanting to give back and help people who know they won't bring their baby home , like us, or who don't know if they will ye,t so she does pics in the NICU. She is an Angel I really don't think I would be as healthy about this as I am if it were not for her. She has prayed for and with me, she has helped me get in contact with other women and families who have been thru this. But most of all she captured my beautiful girl in beautiful photos that surround my house. She took pictures of things I couldn't bare to think about at the time, things that she knew I would never want to forget, like her curls, the top her head, the bottoms of her feet and everything in between. I cherish these pictures as much as I cherish my living children. Her pictures hang proudly everywhere the others kids are. One of the most significant things we did bring home from the hospital was also from Amber in the form a baby pink knitted blanket. That blanket is what we hold when we need to hold Maya. It sleeps between us, it travels with us. The kids snuggle with it, it's what we have, and it's so precious to us. We even put it in our Christmas cards this year, it represents Maya. I have decided that I think this is one of the lessons and the callings I am suppose to take from this experience. I have talked to Amber and when I can I am going to go to the hospital with her. I need to be there for these families, I need to give back. There was one family recently, I haven't gone yet, but I cried for her all night. She just would not escape my mind. I just kept remembering that first night in the hospital and it was the longest night of my life. I could only sleep in 15 minute increments. I would have given anything if I had the power to just go sit with that mom and just hold her pain for her in my hands, just for a little while so she could get some much needed sleep. If God would let me, I would do that. But you see Amber, she is an angel, not just anyone could do her job that she has been called to do. She touched, held and cradled my baby in her arms with love and not many people got to do that, and for that she will forever have a place in my heart and my family.